using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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