Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
