My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
