I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
why is half of my head shaved?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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