Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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