I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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