Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize