We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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