Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
