Apparently you make a good broom.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
