My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
