Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize