I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
