The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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