I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
