He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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