I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
