There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
