# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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