She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Randomize
