Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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