It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
