I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
