it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
