yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
