Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
