yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
do nipples grow back?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
