Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
