yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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