The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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