Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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