I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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