She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
