Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
