Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize