awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
