you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
