Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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