i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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