Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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