Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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