And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize