and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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