There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
