Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
