My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
