Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize