Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
