You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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