Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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