Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
