I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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