i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
