If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize