I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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