loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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