Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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