i think my tv is drunk
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
