Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
