I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
