I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
